Update: Looks like I'm not the only one to call horseshit on Moletech. Still, the number of people who blindly repeat what they're told is a wee bit depressing! Critical thought, people! Learn it. Live it. Love it!
Fresh from the orgy of consumption and consumerism that is Las Vegas and the Consumer Electronics Show, I'm a little deflated. The show no longer holds the same cachet in my mind. Maybe I'm a little olderwiser and a wee bit more cynicalskeptical. Indeed, I was once a country bumpkin kid plucked straight from the backwoods of rural Western Massachusetts. Maybe it shouldn't surprise that such a kid was wowed by some blinking lights on a casino sign and the latest 50" rear projection TVs (remember, these were the years of yesterlore).
Those vague feelings of discontent need no longer simmer below the surface. Finally, the unbidden answer to my yearnings has appeared -- a lightening-rod, if you will, allowing me to focus my CES-related frustrations on a single entity. Enter Moletech.
Moletech's "FUEL SAVER" product claims to improve fuel efficiency (by 10-20%, depending on which brochure you read), lower emissions, increase horsepower, improve the lubricity (really!) and protect your engine, and remove carbon build up. Wow. What a product. I bet it'll even wash my dog and do my taxes! I don't even know where to freakin' begin my rant. So many options, so many choices...
- The product is described as consisting of a bunch of sensors that you drop into your fuel tank and air filter. Interestingly enough, they seem to require no power. Or ability to communicate. Or really, any of the things a sensor in any traditional sense of the word would need. Then, the FAQ goes on to describe the fuel sensor in a way that it sounds a lot like a catalyst, not a sensor. Make up your minds, Moletech!
- Please try to stick with a single piece of bullsh- er, explanation for your product. Here's an example: "Hi. My company, MulletTech, has developed a Snake Oil dispenser. It's 539% more efficient than the competitive Snake Oil dispensers, and restores several extinct species to life every time you use it. We use Hercules Sphere technology which bombards the Snake Oil with dark matter to unglobulate it prior to homologating it in the dispenser injector, thereby yielding riches and good fortune for the user." There. It's a lie, but if it was my product I'd tell the same one every time.
- Instead, the FAQ states that they use "Nano negative ion technology" to "release a negative electric charge in the oxygen molecule and activate it. Elsewhere, the product documentation states that the fuel sensor emits energy at a "specific thermal wavelength" to ungoo the fuel molecules and make them stick together less. Uh, ok.
- The user is instructed to drop the fuel sensor into the fuel tank, and then rev the engine for 5 minutes to "calibrate" and "activate the Molecule Reaction Technology." Wow. I wonder if they figure the fuel you burn while reving the engine into your new fuel economy?
- Luckily, they give themselves an out. The FAQ blames any reduction in fuel economy or power on a "poor maintenance circumstances." Yes, that's right. It couldn't possibly be the product's fault.
- Left you remain convinced that Moletech's product is useless, never fear. There's a 90 day money back guarantee. Or is it 30 days? Who knows? The brochure couldn't make up its mind. Just skip on over to the post office, return the system, and they'll get that money right back to you. Oh, what? You DON'T want to cut open your fuel tank with an acetylene torch to retrieve the "sensor?" Goodbye, hard earned money!
I hope the CEA at least feels a little embarrassment that these folks occupied such prime show floor real estate in North Hall in the midst of people showing real technology and real innovations.
A final note: Please. Try to stock your show booth with salespeople who can at least pretend to believe roughly every third word they say. To do less would be, frankly, insulting. And I don't think you want to insult your potential customers any more than, say, I already am. If you need some good actors, I know of a few looking for work down in Hollywood. Have your people call my people. We'll set it up.